Short & Sweet.

You hate them, you love them. You stalk their facebook/twitter accounts. You have so much bad to say about them yet you still think about them all of the time. You don't want to be with them but you don't want them to be with anyone else. You say you hate them, hating is still caring. I wish I understood why some people stay stuck on their Ex boyfriend or girlfriend for so long.

    Of course breaks up leave broken hearts and bitter feelings behind but I've noticed that most people tend to carry their feelings into the next relationship. It's simple. If you want to be with that person, be with them. But if not, all you're doing is putting a barrier on possible relationships and opportunities to be happy. It's not fair to the next person. So moral of the story, really think about what you're doing before you get another person's emotions involved.

The worst part is, I think I might be guilty of this too..

          xo

Top 5: Sweetest love songs.

I'm obsessed with Love songs. What girl isn't? My go-to songs change when I'm in that "mood," and when I say mood I mean when I want to cry to sappy lifetime movies. Here are my top 5 as of now!

Wanted - Hunter Hayes

      Beautiful man, beautiful voice, beautiful song.

         http://youtu.be/ruyaKdPfTN4

You Save me - Kenny Chesney

         Probably one of my all time favorites, You can never go wrong with a little Kenny Chesney!

         http://youtu.be/ACJ3akD8zIg

You had me From Hello - Kenny Chesney

       This song WILL be played at my funeral. "You asked me if I loved you, If I always will"

           okay, maybe when I said a little Kenny I meant a lot!

            http://youtu.be/nXATCqbrdAk

A Drop in the Ocean- Ron Pope

       " But I'm holding you closer than most, because you are my heaven"

          http://youtu.be/mt8jifKlbTc

Home - Blake Shelton/Michael Buble

           I'm not sure why I love this song, but I can't stop listening to it. Especially this version.

           http://youtu.be/Q33YUxnGvwE 

xo

Sweet Summer Time!

Slowly but surely summer 2K12 has come to an end but DAMN it was good to me. :)

   I definitely didn't spend enough time in the sun but luckily the Texas heat will be around for a little longer! 

Now that school is starting back up hopefully I wont have as many hours at Bdubs! Although I think it might be a bad sign that I'm excited about working less, but who cares! 

      This summer was full of amazing memories. It was my last summer with Hayden. Though not every thing went as planned, I'm glad everything played out the way it did. I'm so thankful that his family invited me to Destin with them. We had been talking about going on vacation together for forever. Okay, maybe only two years, but close enough right?  Between catching some rays and playing with Baby Harper I made some memories that will be sketched into my heart forever. It's so sad starting my senior year without Hayden but I know that he has moved on to bigger and better things up in the big NYC! 

     Now onto Dylan. where do I start with Dylan.. He has caused a catastrophe in my life but I'll save that story for another time! No matter what happens between him and I I'm so thankful that I've gotten so close to him this summer. The thing about him that caught my eye was that we would just sit around and do nothing. Occasionally we'd go swing at Kid Kountry and if we weren't doing that you could find us at the high school playing soccer. He helped me through a lot. It was nice having a guy that I could confide in about Hayden. Even though Hayden and I broke up at the start of the summer, Dylan never pushed anything. Unfortunately, I'm very bad at this whole talking about feelings thing so I'm not quite sure that he knows how thankful I am for his help. He took my mind off of the stress that had to do with Hayden leaving. And when i say he took my mind off of Hayden I don't mean it in the way that most would think. Dylan just helped me be carefree and happy. In the end, isn't that what summer is all about? 

     

          Other than that, My summer consisted of having a Partial Hysterectomy, Hayden's sweet talks, tanning, working, Harper time, Late night skype sessions, Large Root Beers with extra vanilla, my best friend Sakyiwaa & PJ (it's like a dual package), late night hot tub sessions, embarrassing selfies, BLONDE hair, Chocolate almond ice cream, Chipotle burritos, People watching, lounging around, movie days, kettle corn, attempting to "run," Fifty Shades series, Rangers updates, my lovely Mal Palz, long nights, and making new friends from Coppell! I hate to see summer go but this time next year I'll either be at Texas State or Oklahoma State. I'm so stoked to see where I end up! But I guess for now it's back to the hell hole I call hebron! 6 AM will come too soon..

                 xo 

Here is my summer crammed into as few pictures as possible! 

I love you. #44

    It's taken me a few weeks to write this because i wasn't sure how to express how much I will miss him, and to be honest I could write forever and that still wont cover everything. There never was a time that he wasn't putting a smile on my face. Kyle Austin Milliman will forever be in my heart. It still hasn't hit me that he's gone. It's hard to be upset when all I want to do is remember his smile and laugh. He had such a sweet heart; He was loved by so many.
      I finally understand. Depression is a disease. You never know what someone is else is going through. It hurts my heart knowing that he felt that was his only escape. Sometimes I wonder if he could have been stopped, but i know that this is all in Gods plan. It was his time to leave this earth.

     It gives me comfort knowing that he is watching over everyone. He is a Guardian angel to so many people. I can't wait to see his smiling face as I walk through the gates of heaven one day. I love you forever and always!

xx


       

Distance Makes the Heart Grow...Fonder?

      Hayden and I dated for 2 and half years. He is my highschool sweetheart, I never thought anything could tear us apart, but boy was I wrong. I have always had a thing for soccer players, being a talented athlete just made Hayden that more attractive. His hard work, determination, and passion for the game was unlike any other. In the back of my mind I had always known he would go places but I guess I never really wanted to face the facts untill I had no other choice.
       We started talking about college about a year ago. He was going into his senior year, I was going to be a junior. The age difference had never been a problem untill then. He had a few different offers to play soccer, he looked into it but never really seemed interested. I thought he had plans to stay home and wait for me. I thought we were going to go through this chapter together. Boy was I wrong!  
         The arguments progressivly got worse. To him they were unbearable. His reasoning for our break up was "I need time alone to figure out what college I want to go to with no distractions. I need to do what is best for myself." As hard as it was, I only wanted to be there to support him. To encourage him to go whereever his heart told him.
       After about a week of barely speaking I got a phone call, "I'm going to New York, they offered a scholarship that I don't want to turn down." That was only the beginning of an emotional rollercoaster. My heart felt betrayed but my mind was excited. It was a ticking tock. I only had a few months left before he was gone, Sixteen hundred miles away.
    I had so much anger for him. How could he do that to me. All of my hopes and dreams for our relationship went down the drain. We weren't even together but the fighting continued to get worse. My ego wouldn't let me forgive him for chosing to leave.
     As august 9th creeped up on us I became more numb. Helping him pack, sitting in his room for the last time. So many memories replayed in my head like a movie I could watch forever. Saying Goodbye before his 7 AM flight. It's still so surreal.
        I'm still numb. I try not to think about the distance. Our relationship ended because i'm unsure of how i feel about long distance relationships. Hayden and I are so young. If we are meant to be, we have the rest of our lives to be together.
        But to look on the bright side, I'm visiting him in october. I'm excited. Though we aren't togeher I care to see him. I want to know what his new life is like. I'm excited to meet his team. I hope and pray that we can atleast keep a friendship without our emotions getting in the way.

xx

                                                        

A girl can dream huh?

My best friend is my lucky number :)